The Journey Continues...May 26, 2015

Redeemed......  I'm not who I used to be.  I have a love/hate relationship with my past.
I am aware I have yet to reach my potential, and I would not/could not be who and where I am without the journey as it was, laid out exactly as it happened, however I still struggle with who I was.

Thank God I'm not who I used to be.  I am reminded of the promises "we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it".  Everything, person, place or thing, is part of my path or my process. And we will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.  The hardest part is the painstaking phase.  I have heard time and time again, pain is necessary, suffering is optional.  I hold on tight to the promises of recovery.   And it is when I feel the most weak, I am growing, learning, and striving for better.  Small victories and hope for the future.



But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Journey Continues...May 22, 2015

An attitude of Gratitude....
seems to be the theme of the day....learning to listen, how does this help us to avoid the pitfalls of recovery.  Being grateful for what we have verses, what missing what we think we want. Wants verses needs....  the ultimate power struggle.

Today in my lunchtime meeting the chairperson changed the format we normally go around the room taking a turn or passing.. (I don't believe he did it on purpose, I think it was he first time chairing at the meeting)  but it was refreshing, and he stated the topic was gratitude, then said if anyone is struggling to speak up about anything......  I was surprised to see the normal talkers sit quietly and those who were struggling raised their hands.  I listened and learned.  I remembered feeling alone, and confused.  And today I am grateful to be in a very different place.  Grateful for Bill and Bob and their foresight to learn how to help each other.  I find helping someone else helps me more than anything else.  The ability to speak someones language is priceless.


Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
In due time, in his time.  All my anxiety.  This frees me of worry and doubt.  I do not need to worry about the future, he will lift me up in his time.  When I am ready.

Humble means more listening, less talking, and allowing him to guide me.  Thinking of myself less and more of others with an attitude of gratitude.

The Journey Continues...May 21, 2015

And so the story goes......  trying to see the reasoning for "fake" sickness, and lying from a 10 year old.  Is it for attention, even if the attention is negative?  How about how it effects others? Natural consequences,  Over and over again.  When does it sink in?

I forgot I am dealing with the center of the universe.  If feels as if it is an epidemic.   At home and at work, on the road driving 80 miles a day....  with all these centers, I am surprised this earth rotates day after day, as God created it too....

Give me understanding, so that I may keep your law and obey it with all my heart. Direct me in the path of your commands,for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word 

Psalm 119:34-37

Understanding...patience,..tolerance.  The more I try to control things, the more its out of control.  My Pastor using a great analogy.... when you squeeze anything what happens?  It oozes through your fingers, when you open your hand it stays....

1-2-3 living my life in your presence.  Embracing ever aspect of this life I am blessed with, and enjoy walking in the light. Today I chose to live my life on purpose, for his purpose.  

The Journey Continues....May 18, 2015

May 18,2015

     Monday, today I continued a new routine of a lunch time meeting.  Today's topic was making a difference.  I found myself thinking about what that means....  making a difference.  I think most see it as a big picture or a lifetime.  And are they where they want to be? 

     Today making a difference for me, is far different that it was 1016 days or 2.8 years ago.  I was struggling to figure out how life went so very wrong?  And just this weekend I was shown how my view was skewed.    While shopping for groceries, I came face to face with one of the primary motivating factors for my life style change 2.8 years ago.  I was quickly reminded of where I came from, and wondered if I should be somewhere else.  I became flushed with "oh crap?  what do I do?"
I quickly said a quick prayer, and gave it up.  God (my higher power) quickly responded and sent in his troops.  First it was Gail from church, then hockey mom, and a member of my group, then a baseball mom, and then a classmates mom.  The hello's, how are you, and the genuine happiness to see me, and ask how I was, letting me know I looked good, and my goodness I felt good, even great.
     Facing the fear of this situation, which played out in my mind 100 times, was not nearly as expected or projected.  I was calm and confident in knowing God's got this.  This is the difference. 
     The difference is trusting, and giving it up.  I am different.  And it feels good!

Psalm 57:2 ESV
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.